“Family tree” on The Rumpus

“I’m the first in a long line of resilient Midwestern women not to marry an alcoholic, but to become one. The shadow in the veins of the men in my life slid for generations through both bloodlines and took shape in me.

My mother married an alcoholic. Her mother, Charlotte, married an alcoholic. Charlotte’s mother, my great-grandmother Leora, married an alcoholic. I wonder if Leora’s mother, Lottie, married one, too. The generational compass points that way.

I’m talking about this now because I’m ready to understand the pain they carried. I’m ten years sober. I want to know.”